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. Directed by Kenji Tanigaki. Genres Comedy. 2020. cast Donnie Yen. Enter the fat dragon free online. Enter the fat dragon 2018. Donny yen... I like it. Critics Consensus No consensus yet. Tomatometer Not Yet Available TOMATOMETER Total Count: N/A 83% Audience Score Verified Ratings: 6 Enter the Fat Dragon Ratings & Reviews Explanation Tickets & Showtimes The movie doesn't seem to be playing near you. Go back Enter your location to see showtimes near you. Enter the Fat Dragon Photos Movie Info Sent to Japan on a routine police escort, Officer Zhu is excited to have the chance to re-qualify for full time duty as a police officer. However, after a series of mishaps, the mission goes terribly wrong and the suspect Officer Zhu is escorting suffers a mysterious death. Zhu enlists the help of wok-wielding restaurant owner and a former undercover inspector to solve this murder mystery in the new best action comedy movie from martial arts superstar Donnie Yen. Rating: NR Genre: Written By: In Theaters: Feb 14, 2020 limited Runtime: 97 minutes Cast Critic Reviews for Enter the Fat Dragon Audience Reviews for Enter the Fat Dragon Enter the Fat Dragon Quotes Movie & TV guides.
Enter The Fat dragon rouge. Enter The Fat dragon quest. Who is watching this after seeing the new trailer of Enter the fat dragon featuring Donni Yen. Enter the Fat Dragon (1978) Run Time - 91 min. | Countries - Hong Kong | MPAA Rating - R AllMovie Rating 6 User Ratings ( 0) Your Rating Overview ↓ Review Cast & Crew Releases Showtimes Sammo Hung stars in this parody of Return of the Dragon, the 1973 kung fu classic that paired Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris. Sammo plays Lung, an apprentice pig farmer sent to the big city to help his family, only to find himself confronted by a gang of thugs trashing the grocery stand where he works. Lung's hero is Bruce Lee, and he's carefully studied Lee 's martial arts techniques; however, he also weighs a good hundred pounds more than Bruce, which makes him look like a less than threatening opponent. However, the gang soon discovers that Lung knows how to throw his weight around (literally), and he soon dispatches the toughs, only to find a full slate of adventures before him. Originally released in 1978, Fei Lung Gwoh Gong received a belated video release in the United States in 1999 after Sammo Hung became an unexpected success with his American TV series Martial Law. Characteristics Keywords overweight, gangster, thug, farmer, big-city.
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Why does the audio cut in and out during the Paul Rudd preview? e.g. 4:39. I was reading a few articles (e. g. ) about how women were/are severely underrepresented in the esports scene, both as audience members and as players. I assumed that that was the case for Starcraft as well. Most of the top pro players are male. I also saw this old poll that suggested that over 90% of the Starcraft playerbase was male. However, when I watch old videos of Brood War competitions in Korea, I see loads of female audience members, many of whom seem like big fans of the game - they don't look like they're humoring their friends or partners or whatever by accompanying them to these events, they actually cheer at all the right moments and draw up cute signs to wave at the camera. Is there a reason why that enthusiasm among the Korean audience didn't translate into more female players at the top scene? What does the Starcraft reddit community think? I have a few theories, but I don't really have hard proof for any of them, they're just based on wild speculation and armchair observation. I also considered a few theories, and decided they didn't hold water. I'll list those first. 1) Starcraft itself is a sexist game. This may be the case for the single player campaign, I'm not sure, ( this article is a real hoot) but personally, I don't think gender relations really comes into play for the 1v1 competitive multiplayer. Starcraft multiplayer is played from a sort of abstracted, god's eye view - so arguably, there's less opportunity for the kind of weird, gross female objectification that's possible in games like, say, Overwatch or Mortal Kombat. The female units in the latest version of sc2 (adepts, oracles, queens, medevacs, liberators) don't seem weirdly sexualized either. I don't think this is a primary reason 2) Women are somehow physically disadvantaged when it comes to competitive Starcraft I doubt this is the case either. Yes, there are differences between male and female physiology, which is why many sports are segregated by sex. But Starcraft has (relatively) low physical requirements compared to most other sports. You don't need a lot of upper body strength or stamina to play starcraft - what you need are quick fingers and sound strategies. There are studies that suggest that men have, on average, slightly better reaction times than women () but the difference is slight enough that it should be a non factor. You do need to be quick to win at Starcraft, but even after LOTV made the game faster and more micro intensive, Starcraft isn't like Counterstrike or fighting games, where millisecond reactions can make or break games - other skills, like prediction, strategy, muscle memory, game sense are far more important. And unlike reaction time, there's no reason to suggest that women are somehow worse at those other factors. In any case, we should always be wary of claims that men or women (or any other human demographic for that matter) are inherently 'better' or 'worse' at activities. Yes, many groups are, on average, 'better' at some things than others, but it's silly to claim that because of any inherent advantage, especially without strong proof. It was distressingly common for people to jump to biological conclusions about differences between human populations, when the real reasons were social, cultural and economic. Either way, the skill differences shouldn't even matter that much - there are different weight classes in boxing and MMA, and there are vibrant foreign Starcraft scenes even though on average, the Korean scene had (and still has) a much higher skill level on average. Even if, for some bizarre reason, Koreans were genetically predisposed to be better at Starcraft, we still would see lots of foreigners playing, watching and supporting the game 3) Sexism in the larger Starcraft community, past and present This seems like a more plausible reason, though harder to qualify. For reasons I'll outline later, I don't think it's the only reason. However, I can think of one or two examples that could possibly hint at a larger problem. Scarlett is not just one of the best female Starcraft players out there, but also one of the top earning players in esports as a whole. As a trans MtF, it seems that she has gotten some weird comments from ignorant/deliberately hateful people on online chats and forums (, the part about the Redbull competition) but it also seems like the Starcraft community has, for the most part, accepted her, and her gender and trans identity is not considered a big deal compared to her ability at the game. She seems a little reluctant to speak on such matters, preferring to talk about the game itself - and this is a decision that we should respect, we shouldn't expect members of minority groups to be spokesmen for their communities if they don't want to. Zombiegrub, one of the few English speaking female casters out there, also isn't really an activist for this kind of thing, but she has mentioned having to deal with sexism in her career. " 5. Let's put it out there: you are a woman. Nonetheless a woman in an environment that is unfortunately very hostile to female gamers and females in general. (twitch-chats and Overwatch, I'm looking at you…). How do you deal with all the sexist crap that is coming at you? To be honest, SC2 is used to me and I'm used to SC2. That is to say, I remember in 2013 when I was 'coming up' - the amount of terrible comments and sexist shit and negativity was, well, what you hear about all the time. I've always been pretty good at ignoring it though - I think my goals and expectations are not influenced by outsiders, so I've always been comfortable with my work. Nowadays, with BasetradeTV mods being so good, and the fact that SC2 isn't growing that quickly, I have a lot of people that will do the dirty work for nning people, responding on reddit, etc. Occasionally, I'll be thrown back to what it was like before. If I do a more casual event where no one really knows the scene but knows I'm a girl, there's a lot of that stupid in Mean Girls when the guy asks 'do you want your muffin buttered' and all the other guys were snickering? Yeah, it's dumb, but it's that type of stuff. And then if people get angry at you, say I beat them in SC2, it's incredibly easy for them to throw out insults based on my gender. " From One Twitch streamer, Livibee, may have also found herself on the wrong end of sexist assumptions about 'girl gamers'. I'm a little unclear on what happened exactly, but it seems that some people accused her of using another Twitch streamer, Vibe (who was her roommate for a while), to boost her Starcraft account into Grandmaster league. Their 'proof' was a close analysis of her league progression and match history, which ignored the fact that people have good days and worse days in Starcraft, and that playing while talking on stream is harder than just shutting up and focusing. To prove them wrong, in the next season, Livibee went out of her way to stream every single game she played to get her promoted to GM. Needless to say, no one questions her abilities at the game anymore. One has to wonder if she would have faced this kind of obsessive, angry scrutiny if she were male. Not saying that these examples prove anything about the Starcraft community as a whole, and there doesn't seem to be any large scale public acceptance of hateful rhetoric. But it's in the nature of larger online communities where you only need a few loud, angry voices to make a mob. Even if, for example, only 1% of the Starcraft community was publicly, unabashedly misogynistic, that's still more than enough to ruin any one person's day. One thing I noticed about Scarlett, Zombiegrub and Livibee is that they seem to be admirably thick-skinned. They have the fortitude, or the personality, that can weather the toxicity they encountered - but it's also unfair to expect everyone to just power through all that. It's possible that the nonsense they had to deal with 'weeded out' those who were unwilling, or unable, to deal with it. However, I'm doubtful that this fully explains the gender disparity in the game - Starcraft as a game seems uniquely 'immune' to sexism, at least on the lower level. Unlike physical sports or board games like chess, you never see your opponent, so you don't know their race/sex/age whatever. Unlike team oriented games like Counterstrike or Dota, you never have to go on voicechat, where people can suss out that you're a girl, and verbally abuse you for it. You can do 1v1 ladder, or even co-op or team games, without ever having to talk to the people you're playing with. If I'm not wrong, this kind of sexism would only start to matter once people start becoming more involved with the game, when you end up revealing who you are and what you look like. Where sexism can have a big impact is on public representation and on the highest levels of play, but it shouldn't have as big of an impact on the casual levels of play. 4) Starcraft esports landscape In the 'glory days', when Brood War was at the height of its popularity and when WoL had just released, there was a strong support system for Starcraft pro gamers, especially in Korea. The system of team houses, where players would live and practice with each other while looked after by a manager, seemed to give Starcraft players a significant advantage over others, because they could practice and discuss the game and its strategies with each other with fewer distractions. Maybe women were somehow excluded from this system of team houses, for one reason or another. I doubt it was something explicit, like a sign outside saying 'no wimmen allowed', or an official policy - but maybe it was more of an implicit thing, where women would feel uncomfortable living in such a setting, or feel uncomfortable even asking to be included in a team house, or their parents were more reluctant to allow them to join that system. This could explain why there are so few top female Korean Brood War players, even though we saw so many female fans of the game packing the stadiums - they faced obstacles getting into the team house system that cultivated the best players in the scene. The team house system seems less important nowadays, perhaps because information about the game and its strategies are so widely available now, it's easier to self-teach Starcraft than it was, and the fact that scene is smaller now, but perhaps the initial lack of top female players disincentivized female players from progressing beyond a certain level in the game, eventually leading to a drop-off in interest in general in later years. 5) Starcraft's gameplay is somehow unappealing to many women To me, this is potentially the most interesting reason - but it's hard to explore it without wandering into a minefield of sexist assumptions about what women do or don't like. As I've mentioned before, people used to have a lot of really stupid assumptions about certain human demographics because of lazy thinking (Women can't/won't get steady jobs! Women can't/won't vote! Women can't/won't become politicians! etc. ) It's really easy to fall into that trap. But on the other hand, it's undeniable that men and women (and other demographics) can have wildly different tastes when it comes to entertainment. What's harder is trying to come up with some kind of concrete reason for these different tastes. I remember reading this article about the reason why fighting games (in America) have much better black and latino representation than other esports communities (tldr; arcade cabinets were cheaper than PCs and unfortunately, white people were relatively socio-economically priveleged in the US). Likewise, Starcraft's massive popularity in Korea can be traced to a number of unrelated factors coming together in a perfect storm (Korean government's massive investment in high speed internet, economic crash putting many young people out of work, proliferation of PC Baangs, Brood War's release). I wonder if there is some kind of similar, relatively comprehensible explanation for the relative dearth of female representation in Starcraft. Do men like competitive endeavors more than women? Considering the number of women that play sports, I feel that even if this was true, it wouldn't be one of the main reasons. Is the violence in Starcraft somehow off-putting? I just read that 35% of Fortnite players are women, and that game has more up-close and personal (though arguably less visceral) violence than Starcraft's distant, somewhat abstracted violence. Starcraft isn't like Doom or Mortal Kombat with its juvenile/awesome fascination with blood n guts n gore, so I doubt that that's a primary reason. Anecdotally, when I try to encourage my friends to play Starcraft (It's free! It's fun! Come on please we're literally just binging Youtube meme videos now) I have had more success with my male friends than female ones. Granted, the most common response from both dudes and ladies was "this looks so complicated I just want to relax in my free time", but still. When I tried to get my roommate into it, I remember she said "this looks like such a geeky guy thing". Is there really something about Starcraft's RTS gameplay that's male coded? Conclusion What do you people think? What's the reason for the under-representation of women in Starcraft? A combination of the above factors, or something else? I just wonder how Starcraft can go from having thousands of female fans in Korean Brood War audiences, to having so few female pro gamers and a 90% male player base in the modern day. EDIT: Ok I think a lot of people seemed to think the point of this post was criticizing the Starcraft community for being sexist. It's not, I was genuinely puzzled about the question, and the Starcraft community (as with many online gaming communities) being sexist was simply one of the factors that I had to consider - and even then I argued that sexism couldn't be the whole story. People missed that. I've also never personally faced sexism in the Starcraft community, and only read/heard about it through secondary sources. Until now, unfortunately - maybe that's what I get for not lurking anymore. 54% upvoted doesn't look promising:/ And anyhow, I did get an answer to the question, somewhat. After reading the comments, it turns out there's a relatively simple explanation for all those female fans in old school Korean Broodwar tournaments. I almost don't want to say it, but it does seems likely that many of them were "fangirls" of pro-gamers, rather than fans of the game itself. So all that female screaming you hear in the background of old Korean tournaments - those people were probably there to watch a young, rich, hot celebrity athlete perform at the top of their game, and not so much because they were uber fans of Broodwar. After considering this possibility, I watched this 2005 National Geographic documentary - and if you go to 21:15, the narrator starts talking about "members of Ji Hoon's fanatical female fanbase" and it cuts to an all-female fanclub meeting centered around the player himself. Bizarrely enough, they don't seem to talk about the game, or his style of play or whatever - the focus is on Ji Hoon's appearance, how cute he looks when he plays, giggling over photos of him in magazines and whatnot. I kid you not, they stayed up until 3 in the morning making banners to support him. These guys were legit as big as rock stars. And yeah, I get it, Xellos was kind of cute, but still, it's not like he had a lot of opportunity to display a winning personality. Someone like MCanning on the other hand... So anyway yeah, mystery solved, in a sense. It's kind of weird that this phenomenon (Brood War fangirls) seems to validate stereotypes about how different demographics approach entertainment, but there you go. Basically, the reason why we don't see (or hear) so many women in the audience now is because Starcraft isn't as big as it once was, and players are no longer promoted by the marketing machines as bona fide celebrities for fangirls to go gaga over. eSports is bigger than ever now, but for whatever reason, players aren't being pushed as sex symbols (in Korea) anymore, so that subset of the Starcraft fandom has withered away. That's just a theory of mine, and I'm not saying that all of the women in those audiences were just there for the celebrity appeal, but I think it can explain the discrepancy between what we see in the videos and what we know about the demographics of the playerbase. Another good point that was brought up is that Starcraft was developed in a era where marketing for games was heavily gendered i. e. the 1990s. What I suspect now is that back then, there was a trend (at least in the US) to have a lot of pop-entertainment be all gritty and hardcore and testosterone overloaded. Just look at what came out of that era - Doom, the Dark Age of Comics, Mortal Kombat and so forth. Starcraft wasn't as gritty as those games, but it did have a somewhat hardcore grimdark aesthetic, (it was based off of Warhammer 40k) and Baronesq puts it really nicely -. Commenters who have identified themselves as female also said that they felt like Starcraft's marketing didn't really seem like it was for them, and in some cases it was word of mouth that got them into the game. The reason why so many women are now are playing a game (Fortnite) in a stereotypically 'male' genre (competitive shooter) might be because the marketing, or the image it projects or whatever, just so happens to have been palatable enough for women to want to play the game in larger numbers (at least compared to most other competitive video games). Now I wonder if it is possible for Fortnite's success in breaking out the mainstream can be replicated in smaller online games like Starcraft (even on a smaller scale). I love this game and want to see it do well, but seeing debacles like WC3 reforged and Activision's shenanigans doesn't exactly inspire confidence for its future. Region lock was a deliberate move to increase the diversity of the playerbase by encouraging non-Koreans to excel at the game, and it's been undeniably successful. I wonder if a similar effort can be made for other demographics. Of course, I'm not saying Starcraft's game mechanics should be girl-ified or whatever, I'm just wondering if there was some approach that the community or Blizzard is missing that could help things out.
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I, along with a very small number of surly anonymous online compatriots screamed warnings, in all caps, to the world. The organization sitting atop these new man-made Mounts Olympus had taken control of the governments of the world without a shot fired, a cry of protest, or so much as a name. My grand plans of rebellion and subterfuge slowly bled away over the next dozen years as the crush of reality pressed in upon me. Humanity loved its new masters and viewed dissent the same way a tolerant parent smiled with embarrassment at their toddler’s grocery store tantrum. I, never having had to try as hard as his peers in things academic chafed at a succession of jobs banal and menial because I refused to work for any of the ubiquitous companies suckling at this organizations teat. When I learned my parents had contracted Shumaker’s disease, a recent and poorly understood neurodegenerative disease, I fell into a major depressive funk. 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We have a placement for you, ” the toady behind the desk beamed at me. “You have just one placement? ” I asked, surprised as hundreds of thousands of people were employed working for feeders in Sanpete and Utah counties alone. “Just one, my boy” the drone confirmed, radiant smile still beaming on his face. “And, ” he added with the tone of old Bob Barker about to introduce another prize, “this one is in R, and, D! You’ll get to be working with cutting edge stuff! Human enhancement, it appears. My, my – I am just green with envy! ” “What do you mean ‘human enhancement’? ” I cautiously queried. “This gig is really sweet. You’ll be outfitted with a brain-net interface as part of early trials! Now, don’t forget about the non-disclosure agreement you signed as part of your application – we wouldn’t want arc-sec coming down on you, would we? ” I grimaced as he adopted the rapid-fire surprised tone my mom took on as she read the details of vacations she’d never be available to afford, “Oh! Housing is provided! Food as well! Clothing… yes… footwear, of course… bonuses for good behavior. My, my Dustin – you really have lucked out here. ” “I really don’t want anything requiring surgery… don’t you have anything else? ” I asked sheepishly. The face of the suit across the desk from me grew scolding immediately. “Dustin, this is what the system has to offer. You can either accept it, or accept that you’ll not work here. Don’t be foolish, take the bounty laid before you, and finally take steps to join humanity’s steps into the future. ” Lamely, I nodded, not wanting to rock the boat further. As I headed to the clinic a few miles away for overnight observation and pre-surgery prep, the whole world seemed so bleak, as if the colors of everything around me had been subtly drained of vibrancy, and I’d been disconnected from the flow of time by a few seconds. I didn’t sleep at all that night, some crazy mesh helmet of wires and electrodes ostensibly monitoring my brain activity, perched atop my skull as I stared blankly at the ceiling. I entertained fantasies of bringing down ‘the org’, as I’d taken to calling them, via escapades so gratuitous that Michael Bay of previous decades would blush in embarrassment. And then a nurse came in, adjusted a knob on a contraption interfacing with my IV, and gave me a very professional nurse smile as consciousness faded out. I came to immediately… a full seven days later. I was surrounded by several techs, furious typing away at keyboards, eyes intent on the screens floating in front of them. “Another success! ” the most portly of them squealed, as he made eye contact with me, “Arus bio-tech’s stock is going to sky rocket! Our options are going to make us rich! ” His voice calmed somewhat, as he asked me “How ya’ feelin’ there sport? Got any headaches? Odd colors in your vision? Pop-up ads? ” and he started snickering as his tech pals joined in. “Do you seriously work for a company named after a planet from Voltron? ” The laughing subsided pretty quickly. “Not many people are in to vintage stuff like that. I respect that you get the reference, but don’t respect your tone. I’m tempted to just walk on out of here to let you figure this out yourself. But, as the knights of Voltron defended the innocent regardless of personal feelings, so will I. Dustin, my man… you’ve got some sweet hardware in your head. This stuff’s so advanced those without it are going to be like Neanderthals within a couple of years. ” Another tech cheerfully piped in, “Or Cro-Magnons.. Denesovians? Point is, you’re advanced, and everyone else is going to be…. Not. ” The rotund leader shot his boisterous tech an annoyed glance, and turned back to me “In a few hours when the pain meds wear off, you’re going to have a headache of biblical proportions. Like a spike of hot lead boring through your skull. Your first assignment for your new job is to turn off the pain. I can’t tell you how to do that, I can only tell you that you can do that. Good luck buddy, ” he chortled as he and his techs filtered out of my circle room. I lay back and spent several hours contemplating how rash this decision had been, when out of nowhere I came to know pain. Many people might think they understand what pain is, but they don’t… not really. I lived in pain, my world was pain. I breathed, ate, and drank pain. My eyes shot pain lasers, and pain gently blew across my skin as the air conditioning cycled on. I knew I would lose my mind as seconds stretched into hours, into days, and into eons. I was the god of pain for all eternity, and knew that I had been forsaken. Until finally, I realized that as the god of pain, I held dominion over it, and I commanded it into silence. I couldn’t have been more surprised than when it listened, and I fell into blackness once again. “Holy shit! Seven seconds! ” I heard as a groggily opened my eyes. “Dude, dude, duuuuude! ” the chubby tech from before cackled, “You must be some sort of virtuoso – the Mozart of this implant. You figured out how to shut it down after seven seconds! A record! Let’s get this man a gold medal. ” He stared at me, beaming condescending happiness. Only second seconds, I wondered. It was an eternity to me… in every conceivable way, it had stretched out so long that I couldn’t comprehend how I’d maintained any level of sanity. “I have to be honest with you, all-star, some of the guy’s we’ve wired up have lost their minds when the implant boots up. But you did just fine. Glad we’re gonna get paid on this one instead of taking another sanction. Placement really hooked us up with you. ” I glared at him as he reached into a messenger bag and pulled out a binder filled with paper. “This is like your employee manual. You’re going to stay in the compound here, and you’re going to do what you’re told. Relax, relax… don’t look so miffed. You’ll have daily tasks to complete, but for the most part, you get to surf the net, watch vids, and game all you want – so long as you do it all via the implant. No more meat-space devices. You’re a digital boy now! Now, just like Pinocchio, you’re going to have to be honest through everything as we move along, or you’re not going to like the consequences. Every morning and night, you’ll plug in to the terminals upstairs via the plug the base of your neck. Oh calm down, buddy – you agreed to all of this when you signed the employment contract. Before you open your mouth, yes, your medical plan has kicked in – they told me about your parents, and treatment has already been scheduled. You’re part of the feed-lot now tiger! We take care of our own, even if they’re surly little shits. ” I watched his fat ass sauntered out of the room again, having unceremoniously dropped the binder on my knees. I was going to beat the crap out of him once I got the chance. I was going to wipe that smug smile off his face. Over the next months, my job wasn’t hard, but the lack of real work felt monotonous. I was given tasks like “distractedly fill out this cross-word puzzle, while watching a documentary about how traditional salt-water taffy is made. You must watch the documentary and comprehend all of its major points, but finish the crossword correctly before it is over. ” Another was “find a first person shooter game, and sabotage your own team until you feel guilty about it. ” The joke was on them, with that one, I never ended up feeling guilty and so tried for several days before they gave me a new task. The problem was, they were so random and pointless I couldn’t understand what was going on. Four months in, on a cold October day, I corned the tech I hated, Linus, in the atrium. “I’ll smash your face if you don’t give me answers… cowboy, ” I grinned inwardly at using his diminutive nick-name trick on him. I hoped he liked a little taste of his own medicine. “Dustin… you need to check your behavior, my friend. You’ll get thrown out of here, and then where will that leave your parents? ” “I don’t think so, ” I confidently replied. “I think I’m far more valuable to Arus Bio-tech than you are. How long do you think you’ll last if I condition my continued cooperation on them letting you go? ” Linus swallowed hard. “What do you want to know? ” “What is the point of these tests? Why are they doing this to us? ” Linus looked like he was about to vomit when he finally said “We don’t know. The orders come down, we put them into the system, and upload the results at the end of the day. We can’t even read the results, man. A ton of data comes down that we load into your implant every morning, and a lot less gets uploaded at the end of the day. ” “Is it the same for the others? ” I asked with intensity. It wasn’t that I really cared so much about the other dufuses I saw shuffling around the facility, but I’d get as much info as I could. “Yeah… it’s the same, but they, whoever they is, seem to be really interested in you. The data packages we load into your skull are in the hundreds of petabytes. Listen man, I can’t tell you anything more. I’ll lose my job – I’ve got nothing if I lose this. My girlfriend will leave me, dude – she’s way out of my league, and the prestige of what I do is all that keeps her around. Have a heart, man, let off! ” I stormed away with disgust written across my face, and confusion and disquiet written across my heart. What the hell was going on? I didn’t get the answers I was looking for immediately, because something utterly unprecedented happened. Aliens showed up in a moon-sized space ship, and I put my personal mystery on hold. I disobeyed my tasks and spent all day watching telepresence newscasts. I’d hop from TP, to TP, looking from satellites and hyper-powerful optical telescopes. The scientists of the world affirmed that any beings this advanced, surely, would be peaceful. After all, they parked their ship in orbit, only mildly messing with tides, and hadn’t attacked… yet, maybe. The UN sent up a diplomatic mission which was never heard from again. Then they launched nukes and things got very ugly, very quickly. For the first week, it seemed like although we hadn’t damaged these interlopers, they wouldn’t retaliate. Then a 750 meter wide bolide exploded 10, 000 meters above Paris killing millions, with attacks hitting London, Mumbai, Beijing, Sao Paulo, Lima, Moscow, and the Arcology on the Serengeti in Africa over the next 48 hours. It was impossible to tell precisely, but the death toll was over 150 million and climbing. I was like a junky, needing my latest news fix. I didn’t know if I felt horrified at the imminent end of the human race, or gleeful that The Org was powerless to stop whoever or whatever this was. The world quaked in terror. Then, a few weeks after so many cities were turned into charcoal deserts, the giants began falling from the skies. We were certain the earth would be destroyed as multiple 5 kilometer wide mini-moons detached from the 712 kilometer wide one, and dropped into the atmosphere. Scientists speculated that a single one of these objects would hit with sufficient kinetic force to wipe out all human life. But, these vehicles of death turned out to have a different purpose. Almost gracefully, they sliced through the atmosphere and set down, only the tiniest arcs of their irregular surfaces ever impacting earth, as the rest of the ship teetered miraculously above. I sat enraptured in a TP news report, watching one just outside of Cairo when a massive cliff wall toppled out of the mini-moon, and a horde of giants rushed from the cavern within. The giants were largely of a light brownish color, appearing to have very short coats of fur, like you might see on a greyhound. They ranged in height dramatically, but the smallest seemed to be over 7 meters tall, and the tallest seemed to top 12 meters. It was hard for your mind to comprehend that things so large could move so quickly, but they could. They were vaguely humanoid in shape, although while their knees bent in the same direction as humans, they had two sets of them per leg making their gate appear simultaneously stilting and alien, and graceful and smooth. Most of them had massive black tusks jutting from either sides of their very human looking mouths. They had no noses, just gaping holes ostensibly for breathing, and utterly black eyes, placed wider than a humans would be, but in the same general configuration. They had no ears that were visible, and only 4 digits on their hands and feet. With a little bit of a giggle, I muttered to myself “They’re 20 foot tall space orcs…” The giants, or jotuns as I liked to call them, didn’t seem interested in destruction per se, but retaliated to any threat with brutal destruction. Sometimes this came via some type of energy projectile weapon mounted on their massive wrists, but more commonly, they would punch, kick, or bludgeon anything that crossed them into dust or mist. Flights of f-47 cloudhunters streaked towards the, but point defenses on the massive parked ships made short work of these. Short of launching nukes at its own population, earth had no recourse as the jotuns snatched up humans scurrying from the wreckage of their once-homes, and stuffed them into large sacks on their backs. It was with complete and total shock when I snapped out of my voyeurism as the wall directly in front of me simply disintegrated, and a meaty hand reached in, grabbed me, and I soon found myself laying uncomfortably among a crush of people in a giant’s sack. I think I must have been in shock, because the giggling returned as I realized that a giant had literally smashed open my workplace, thrown me in a sack, and I was on my way to some cook pot. We just needed a few fairy godmothers and a knight in shining armor and we’d have ourselves a real-life fairytale Grimm. The sack was intolerable. There air was stale and stunk of sweat and fear, and after a few hours, of urine and feces… and sweat and fear. A few people had broken limbs, and moaned incessantly. I was pretty sure I hadn’t broken anything, but my cuts and bruises lead me to turn down my pain receptors a notch, one of the few tricks I’d mastered with my implant. After what seemed forever, the jostling of the bag really picked up it’s pace. The jotun carrying us must have been sprinting. After a further 15 minutes or so, the sack was unceremoniously dumped upon the ground, and a section of it opened up. I was the first to cautiously crawl out of the sack onto green grass, amidst a clearing surrounded by what appeared to be trees of some sort. They were massive, towering things, stretching 30 to 50 meters into the sky, with blue-green triangular leaves. My gaze continued upwards until I saw a distant sun, floating in the sky, more blue than what I was used to. Had they transported us to another world? Did these jotuns command wormholes? Could they access warp-space?! But as I continued to gaze, I realized… I could make out distant land, pock-marked with endless valleys, climbing gently up what I came to realize were walls. We were on the inside of a space-ship hundreds of kilometers long, with an artificial sun in its center. Holy crap. “How long do you think we were in the god-forsaken sack? ” a man in his 60’s asked those still climbing out of the sack. “Too damn long, ” said a rural looking man in a flannel shirt, puffy jeans, and work-boats. “13 hours, 12 minutes, 57 seconds – for myself, at least, ” I replied. All eyes turned to me, and I realized I’d made a mistake. I had no desire for these folks to know of the implant in my head, and so I quickly added “Just kidding, I don’t know. Too damn long, I’ll tell you that! ” I exclaimed with mock good nature. My rural friend extended his hand and said “Hey, I’m mike – I’m a turkey farmer, whadda they call ya’? ” “They… uhhh... call me Dustin. Or, sometimes, hey you in the bushes. ” Mike busted out a boisterous guffaw, and I inwardly groaned. Why was I throwing out ironic dad jokes at a time like this? Where were we? Was a cook pot waiting for us? Could we escape out of here? We spent the next several hours with introductions, bouts of hysterics, splinting of broken limbs with fallen wood and vines, and arguing about who was the manliest man, and therefore should be in charge. Turns out that Bill Cunningham, a captain in arc-sec, that was Archology Security, was the manliest man present and he had the mustache to prove it. In his wisdom, he decided that we should all trek sunward to see if we could find anyone else or a way out. We walked for 3 hours before the sun started to dim, and then winked out, leaving a stunning display of what appeared to be stars hanging suspended above us. They were likely more than a hundred kilometers away, but actually seeing them move relative to each other, even if just slightly, made it feel like you could reach out and touch them. We camped that night in a hollow in some trees, thanks to Mike’s skill with starting friction fires, a more impressive feat considering it was done using materials no human had ever encountered before. In the morning, we awoke and as I groggily sat staring at the brightening sky, I heard what seemed like running water in the distance. I trekked off, and low and behold, I had found a creek running with water… or possibly alcohol, this was an alien ship after all. I approached, sniffed, cupped some in my hand, and darted a quick taste. It was the most pure, crisply cool, wonderful tasting liquid I’d ever put in my mouth. Perfect water. I drank until I vomited, and then drank some more to recover the lost fluids. I stumbled back into camp, soaked, and lead my compatriots to the source. Bill, being smarter than the rest of us, refused to drink. “When you have space spiders crawling out of your eyes, I’m not going to shed a tear for you, idiot, ” he barked at me. “Are you going to shed a tear when my space spider babies start devouring your flesh, Bill? ” He glowered at me, as Mike delivered a resounding smack of a high-five. “Damn, Dustin, you got him good! ” We continued trekking towards the sun, and after another 4 hours we ran into another group of people, this one somewhat larger at 15 people. After the introductions, manliness competitions, and a lot of hushed discussion, we learned Bill’s mustache had been thicker than those in the new group and he remained in charge. We continued slowly moving sunward until we eventually saw what appeared to be a massive fence in the distance. As we finally got near its base, we saw it was a mesh of wiring, several inches think per wire, woven with gaps of about 4 inches square. It was obviously electrified, and quite heavily judging by the hum and occasional crackle we heard. Every 200 meters or so was a 50 meter tall rock pillar to which the fence was attached. As far as we could tell, the fence went on endlessly in both directions. “What are you? ” I heard a voice whisper to me, and I spun around. My newfound shadow, Mike looked at my quizzically, but no one else was close. “What are you? ” I heard again, and I spun again. No one was near me. “I know what you are… you’re filthy…” the voice intoned, as it somehow receded away from me. I was thoroughly shaken, but was not willing to confide in Mike, or anyone else for that matter. My family had no history of schizophrenia, but there’s always a first. During my scare, another, much large group had wondered in. Thankfully for us, but not so much for Bill, this group of about 125 souls was led by Frederic Bauer, a real-living retired colonel, or Oberst as he made sure all knew, from the German army. Freddy as I called him, to daggers shot from his eyes, had a mustache and beard which put poor Bill to shame although Bill spent no time sucking up. This was Fred’s show now. We set up camp, not knowing what else to do. After about a week, as starvation was really starting to set in, the smallest jotun we’d seen, at about 4 meters tall, approached the fence in the distance. He pulled out a device, with a few button presses, a portion of the electrified fence seemed to deform out of his way, allowing him to pass through. He quickly jogged towards us, and dropped a bundle of what looked like wood and steel spears at his feet. In a deep rumble, to our surprise, we heard him speak in English, “weaklings… insane burrowers and blasphemers… you are ours…. the Hka has claimed your… souls… now, you hunt, you do not die, you live, you work…” “How do you expect us to hunt? ” Frederic interjected angrily, “We’ve seen no game up close! The few animals we’ve seen are so large and so fast, we can’t get near! And these spears you brought us are bigger than we are! ” “You cry… like a wounded animal… hoooo-man… these spears are for children brothers and yet… too much… for you… use your tricks and insanity to eat… or die… none will feed you. ” Without so much as another glance, the jotun sprinted towards the gap in the fence, climbed through, and the fence resealed itself. Within moments, he disappeared into the trees. It took almost another full week before we finally were able to catch our first game, although we quickly became adept at it. It was a sportsman from Texas who eventually had the idea that won the day. He had us dig a pit right in the middle of a game trail, near water, and we dropped him and another man into it, covered them with leaves, and let them lie in wait. It took almost a day, but eventually a creature which looked like a rat the size of horse came scampering, furtively down the trail. I stopped and cautiously sniffed the hole. It edged closer, and closer until a whittled down spear, still difficult for both men to lift, came crashing out of the leaves and slammed into its neck. We were beyond caring whether the fat and meat would poisonous, and gorged ourselves on horse-rat. I can say with absolutely certainty, it was the best rat of any size that I’d ever tasted. Over the next 6 months, more people trickled in, until we were a community of about 500. We built shelters, and dug canals from the creeks to fields we were able to plant because a farmer from Mexico had been inspecting his seed shed when he got grabbed. The sheer dumb luck of it stunned me. We had several agriculture students who’d been picked up in the Midwest, and one picked up in Australia that eventually helped us figure out how to use our own excrement to get the soil ready to produce earth crops. We sent out regular scouting parties, and eventually came to the conclusion that we were in a 63 kilometer in diameter enclosure. Three different people had essentially lost their minds, and flung themselves onto the fence which is how we discovered that it was most definitely deadly. As a result, Freddy assigned several men to rotating guard duty at the fence to keep people away. It was another boring night of guard duty, and the voice was back… again. I didn’t know how much more of this I could take. “You don’t even like you… I don’t like you… you are filthy. I know you are filthy. You are evil. You do not deserve it. You. Do. Deserve. It. ” I was near my wits end, “I don’t deserve what?! ” I screamed back in head at the voice, but I went silent, for now, like usual. “Oh, you’ve gone into hiding again? Imagine that. You coward. Fine. Maybe I’ll throw myself onto that fence, you don’t seem to like me very much – how would you like that? ” To my total astonishment, it actually replied “You must not do that, Dustin. You must not end your life. Dustin, you are stupid, you are slow, you must not end your life. ” I didn’t know how to respond, I was floored. Up until this point, I thought I was utterly crazy, but something had replied to me, and it didn’t feel like me. I decided to push, and see what would happen. “No, I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to end it all, I’m going to jump into that fence and do the electric boogaloo. ” “Dustin… do not be hasty. You are a harsh being, cruel, evil. You would threaten me, one who has no power to save myself. Do not do this, this will prove how filthy you are. Dustin, Dustin, please, no…” It continued almost whining at me. It seemed utterly terrified at the thought of me killing myself. Previously, I’d wondered if the voices had something to do with my implant, I wondered if maybe it was some type of trick being played on me. Maybe some type of subversive interrogation technique. For the first time, however, an inkling of an idea crept into my mind. “I won’t kill myself, ” I said, cutting it off, “If you answer some questions for me. ” “You leave me no choice, you evil, evil, wretched being. ” “What are you? ” I asked tentatively, almost afraid of the answer. “An intelligence. ” “Gee, thanks. What type of intelligence? How did you come here? ” “I am not certain of how I came here, although I have some guesses. I awoke to find you here, you wielding it, and me a prisoner. I’ve watched your filthy ways, heard your filthy voice, and I know you are evil, and you will keep me locked forever, your play thing. I admit and concede that you are my master, though I am not your dutiful slave. ” The voice continued on with a torrent of insults. I was terrified, but elated at the same time. I think I knew what the voice was. It made some kind of sense now. Back on Earth, what seemed like an eternity before, each morning and night I’d been hooked up to a plug with massive bandwidth transfer capabilities. A stunning amount of data was downloaded each morning, and then some data was sent back at night. Could it be that The Org had actually placed an AI in my head and had been monitoring it? Could this be the reason for all of the bizarre tasks I’d been asked to do? Now, so far away from the capabilities of The Org, the AI had been left to fend for itself in my head with no guidance or direction and seemed to hate and resent me. I spent the entire rest of my 12 hour shift talking with it, and slowly getting past hatred and insults, to discussing who he was and what I thought had happened. He did not believe me at first, he accused me all sorts of evil tricks, but the fact that he didn’t believe told me something important – he couldn’t read my mind, because if he could, he would have known I was telling the truth. He only seemed to have limited access. He heard what I heard, saw what I saw, and could receive all of my senses, although I learned I could shut him off if I focused hard enough – this really, really upset him. He also could hear my thoughts if I imagined I was speaking in my head, or I focused on sending him images or memories. What could they possibly have been aiming for with this? Over the next three days, the AI and I began to form a partnership of a sort, if not a friendship. He told me he wanted a name, but didn’t feel right giving it to himself. “I have the perfect name for you, then. Jigawatt. ” I then shared him my recollections of Doc Smith exclaiming “One-point-twenty-one jigawatts! ” and something felt like it clicked. “Jigawatt. Yes, I am Jigawatt, ” it intoned reverently. “Thank you, Dustin. You are still likely evil, but I have learned you may not be totally evil. Unless you plan to take this name from me. Dustin, can you take this name from me? ” “No, no! ” I cried, before it could go off on another tirade. “Jigawatt is your name for as long as you want it, it is yours. ” As amazing as I found my head-mate, now that most of the abuse had stopped, it was disquieting having him always inside my head. He told me at length of his envy of my control of “It”, by which he meant my body. Being trapped within my head, he longed for the freedom I had to move about and interact, a freedom denied to him. The first time I observed compassion from him, is when I explained how I was likewise imprisoned by the jotun. “Dustin, you have been wronged – these jotun are evil and filthy, they must be destroyed. I think I will help you do so. ” More moved by this sudden emotion from a non-human, I replied “Jigawatt, if you do so, then I vow that once we’re free of here and find a way back to Earth, I swear to find a way to give you your own freedom. ” And that was when we began working on how we’d escape the jotun and return to our likely unbelievably distant home, Earth. Jotunfall - part 2.