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✵✵ The Invisible Man
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Genres: Sci-Fi
Review: When Cecilia's abusive ex takes his own life and leaves her his fortune, she suspects his death was a hoax. As a series of coincidences turn lethal, Cecilia works to prove that she is being hunted by someone nobody can see
2020
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The Invisible Man (2020) with English Subtitles ready for download, The Invisible Man 2020 720p, 1080p, BrRip, DvdRip, Youtube, Reddit, Multilanguage and High Quality. ############################ WATCH HERE ➤➤ DOWNLOAD HERE ➤➤ Ever since hulking lawman Hobbs (Johnson), a loyal agent of America’s Diplomatic Security Service, and lawless outcast Shaw (Statham), a former British military elite operative, first faced off in 2015’s Furious 7, the duo have swapped smack talk and body blows as they’ve tried to take each other down. But when cyber-genetically enhanced anarchist Brixton (Idris Elba) gains control of an insidious bio-threat that could alter humanity forever — and bests a brilliant and fearless rogue MI6 agent (The Crown’s Vanessa Kirby), who just happens to be Shaw’s sister — these sworn enemies will have to partner up to bring down the only guy who might be badder than themselves. Watch The Invisible Man Online Free Streaming, Watch The Invisible Man Online Full Streaming In HD Quality, Let’s go to watch the latest movies of your favorite movies, The Invisible Man. come on join us!! What happened in this movie? I have a summary for you. It’s the first rose ceremony of the movie and the drama is already ratcheted up! Two very different men – Blake and Dylan – have their hearts set on handing their rose to Hannah G., but who will offer it to her and will she accept? All About The movies Euphoria centers on CDC researcher Abby Arcane. When she returns to her childhood home of Houma, Louisiana, in order to investigate a deadly swamp-borne virus, she develops a surprising bond with scientist Alec Holland — only to have him tragically taken from her. But as powerful forces descend on Houma, intent on exploiting the swamp’s mysterious properties for their own purposes, Abby will discover that the swamp holds mystical secrets, both horrifying and wondrous — and the potential love of her life may not be after all. 133Movies Watch Online The Invisible Man: Complete movies Free Online Strengthens Crusaders and mountan Moorish commanders rebelled against the British crown. How long have you fallen asleep during The Invisible Man Movie? The music, the story, and the message are phenomenal in The Invisible Man. I have never been able to see another Movie five times like I did this. Come back and look for the second time and pay attention. Watch The Invisible Man WEB-DL movies This is losing less lame files from streaming The Invisible Man, like Netflix, Amazon Video. Hulu, Crunchy roll, DiscoveryGO, BBC iPlayer, etc. These are also movies or TV shows that are downloaded through online distribution sites, such as iTunes. The quality is quite good because it is not re-encoded. Video streams (H. 264 or H. 265) and audio (AC3 / The Invisible Man) are usually extracted from iTunes or Amazon Video and then reinstalled into the MKV container without sacrificing quality. Download Euphoria Movie Season 1 Movie 6 One of the streaming movies. Watch The Invisible Man Miles Morales conjures his life between being a middle school student and becoming The Invisible Man. However, when Wilson “Kingpin” Fiskuses as a super collider, another Captive State from another dimension, Peter Parker, accidentally ended up in the Miles dimension. When Peter trained the Miles to get better, Spider-Man, they soon joined four other The Invisible Man from across the “Spider-Verse”. Because all these conflicting dimensions begin to destroy Brooklyn, Miles must help others stop Fisk and return everyone to their own dimensions. the industry’s biggest impact is on the DVD industry, which effectively met its destruction by mass popularizing online content. The emergence of streaming media has caused the fall of many DVD rental companies such as Blockbuster. In July 2020, an article from the New York Times published an article about Netflix DVD, No Manches Frida 2s. It was stated that Netflix was continuing their DVD No. No Frida 2s with 5. 3 million customers, which was a significant decrease from the previous year. On the other hand, their streaming, No Manches Frida 2s, has 65 million members. In a March 2020 study that assessed “The Impact of movies of Streaming on Traditional DVD Movie Rentals” it was found that respondents did not buy DVD movies nearly as much, if ever, because streaming had taken over the market. So we get more space adventures, more original story material and more about what will make this 21st MCU movie different from the previous 20 MCU films. Watch Final Space Season 2 — Movie 6, viewers don’t consider the quality of movies to differ significantly between DVDs and online streaming. Problems that according to respondents need to be improved by streaming movies including fast forwarding or rewinding functions, and search functions. This article highlights that streaming quality movies as an industry will only increase in time, because advertising revenues continue to soar on an annual basis across industries, providing incentives for the production of quality content. He is someone we don’t see happening. Still, Brie Larson’s resume is impressive. The actress has been playing on TV and film sets since she was 11 years old. One of those confused with Swedish player Alicia Vikander (Tomb Raider) won an Oscar in 2016. She was the first Marvel movie star with a female leader.. And soon, he will play a CIA agent in a movies commissioned by Apple for his future platform. The movies he produced together. Unknown to the general public in 2016, this “neighbor girl” won an Academy Award for best actress for her poignant appearance in the “Room”, the true story of a woman who was exiled with her child by predators. He had overtaken Cate Blanchett and Jennifer Lawrence, both of them had run out of statues, but also Charlotte Rampling and Saoirse Ronan. Watch The Invisible Man Movie Online Blu-rayor Bluray rips directly from Blu-ray discs to 1080p or 720p (depending on source), and uses the x264 codec. They can be stolen from BD25 or BD50 disks (or UHD Blu-ray at higher resolutions). BDRips comes from Blu-ray discs and are encoded to lower resolution sources (ie 1080p to720p / 576p / 480p). BRRip is a video that has been encoded at HD resolution (usually 1080p) which is then transcribed to SD resolution. Watch The Invisible Man The BD / BRRip Movie in DVDRip resolution looks better, however, because the encoding is from a higher quality source. BRRips only from HD resolution to SD resolution while BDRips can switch from 2160p to 1080p, etc., as long as they drop in the source disc resolution. Watch The Invisible Man Movie Full BDRip is not transcode and can move down for encryption, but BRRip can only go down to SD resolution because they are transcribed. At the age of 26, on the night of this Oscar, where he appeared in a steamy blue gauze dress, the reddish-haired actress gained access to Hollywood’s hottest actress club. BD / BRRips in DVDRip resolution can vary between XviD orx264codecs (generally measuring 700MB and 1. 5GB and the size of DVD5 or DVD9: 4. 5GB or 8. 4GB) which is larger, the size fluctuates depending on the length and quality of release, but increasingly the higher the size, the more likely they are to use the x264 codec. With its classic and secret beauty, this Californian from Sacramento has won the Summit. He was seen on “21 Jump Street” with Channing Tatum, and “Crazy Amy” by Judd Apatow. And against more prominent actresses like Jennifer Lawrence, Gal Gadot or Scarlett Johansson, Brie Larson signed a seven-contract deal with Marvel. There is nothing like that with Watch The Curse of La Llorona Free Online, which is signed mainly by women. And it feels. When he’s not in a combination of full-featured superheroes, Carol Danvers runs Nirvana as greedy anti-erotic as possible and proves to be very independent. This is even the key to his strength: if the super hero is so unique, we are told, it is thanks to his ability since childhood, despite being ridiculed masculine, to stand alone. Too bad it’s not enough to make a film that stands up completely … Errors in scenarios and realization are complicated and impossible to be inspired. There is no sequence of actions that are truly shocking and actress Brie Larson failed to make her character charming. Spending his time displaying scorn and ridicule, his courageous attitude continually weakens empathy and prevents the audience from shuddering at the danger and changes facing the hero. Too bad, because the tape offers very good things to the person including the red cat and young Nick Fury and both eyes (the film took place in the 1990s). In this case, if Samuel Jackson’s rejuvenation by digital technology is impressive, the illusion is only for his face. Once the actor moves or starts the sequence of actions, the stiffness of his movements is clear and reminds of his true age. Details but it shows that digital is fortunately still at a limit. As for Goose, the cat, we will not say more about his role not to “express”. Already the 21st film for stable Marvel Cinema was launched 10 years ago, and while waiting for the sequel to The 100 Season 6 Movie war infinity (The 100 Season 6 Movie, released April 24 home), this new work is a suitable drink but struggles to hold back for the body and to be really refreshing. Let’s hope that following the adventures of the strongest heroes, Marvel managed to increase levels and prove better. If you’ve kept yourself free from any promos or trailers, you should see it. All the iconic moments from the movie won’t have been spoiled for you. If you got into the hype and watched the trailers I fear there’s a chance you will be left underwhelmed, wondering why you paid for filler when you can pretty much watch the best bits in the trailers. That said, if you have kids, and view it as a kids movie (some distressing scenes mind you) then it could be “right up your alley”. It wasn’t right up mine, not even the back alley. But yeah a passable The Invisible Man with Blue who remains a legendary raptor, so 6/10. Often I felt there just too many jokes being thrown at you so it was hard to fully get what each scene/character was saying. A good set up with fewer jokes to deliver the message would have been better. In this way The Invisible Man tried too hard to be funny and it was a bit hit and miss. The Invisible Man fans have been waiting for this sequel, and yes, there is no deviation from the foul language, parody, cheesy one liners, hilarious one liners, action, laughter, tears and yes, drama! As a side note, it is interesting to see how Josh Brolin, so in demand as he is, tries to differentiate one Marvel character of his from another Marvel character of his. There are some tints but maybe that’s the entire point as this is not the glossy, intense superhero like the first one, which many of the lead actors already portrayed in the past so there will be some mild confusion at one point. Indeed a new group of oddballs anti super anti super super anti heroes, it is entertaining and childish fun. In many ways, The Invisible Man is the horror movie I’ve been restlessly waiting to see for so many years. Despite my avid fandom for the genre, I really feel that modern horror has lost its grasp on how to make a film that’s truly unsettling in the way the great classic horror films are. A modern wide-release horror film is often nothing more than a conveyor belt of jump scares strung together with a derivative story which exists purely as a vehicle to deliver those jump scares. They’re more carnival rides than they are films, and audiences have been conditioned to view and judge them through that lens. The modern horror fan goes to their local theater and parts with their money on the expectation that their selected horror film will “deliver the goods”, so to speak: startle them a sufficient number of times (scaling appropriately with the film’s runtime, of course) and give them the money shots (blood, gore, graphic murders, well-lit and up-close views of the applicable CGI monster etc. ) If a horror movie fails to deliver those goods, it’s scoffed at and falls into the “worst film I’ve ever seen” category. I put that in quotes because a disgruntled filmgoer behind me broadcasted those exact words across the theater as the credits for this film rolled. He really wanted us to know his thoughts. Hi and Welcome to the new release called “The Invisible Man” which is actually one of the exciting movies coming out in the year 2018. [WATCH] Online. The Invisible Man Full Movie, New Release though it would be unrealistic to expect “The Invisible Man” to have quite the genre-busting surprise of the original, it is as good as it can be without that shock of the new – delivering comedy, adventure and all too human moments with a generous hand.
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The Invisible Man 2020 Full Movie FREE Sign in to comment to your favorite stories, participate in your community and interact with your friends LOG IN WITH FACEBOOK The Invisible Man 2020 Full Movie FREE Online HD Click Here Watch The Invisible Man 2020 Full Movie The Invisible Man is an upcoming 2020 science fiction horror film written and directed by Leigh Whannell. The film is a modern reimagining of both the novel of the same name by H. G. Wells and the 1933 film adaptation of the same name Report this Content This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator. More on Odyssey.
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A list of d100 oddities to find in a pocket, whether that be your own, or that of a cloak hanging in a temple, or a merchants whom you just so happen to bump into, to that of a Drow soldier whom you captured... etc... Contributors: in no specific order /u/ThreeAndTwentyChars /u/LucasBlackadder /u/lisdexic12345 /u/MojoDragon365 /u/Woopdeedo /u/ExitMindBomb /u/Ninten_Joe /u/rohtozi /u/malnox /u/HighNaChicken /u/Cacteye_ /u/TrCastle7 /u/Endakk /u/sirviantis /u/fifthmeat /u/Captnlunch /u/LadyVague /u/Pure_Hayato /u/Nijadeen /u/bardicly_inclined /u/Colitoth47 /u/Steampunk_king1 /u/YuriWuv /u/Dryu_nya I’ll start with the obvious 10- with thanks to Tolkien handses - a severed hand, possibly still clutching a note... fish bones goblins’ teeth - could be actual goblin teeth, or perhaps teeth that a goblin was carrying around... wet shells a bit of bat wings a sharp stone to sharpen his fangs on knife - sharp, rusty, silvered, or broken, it’s up to the DM... string nothing a magic ring of invisibility - cursed, no doubt... Good Job! 11. half a rat sandwich 12. another pocket - have fun explaining that 13. a hole - Bards 😉 14. A burnt rabbits foot - Possibly still warm and lucky. 15. An oil lamp - Empty of previous genie. 16. Half carved token - Looks like the start of a miniature orc figurine... 17. Weird coin - Both sides are heads 18. Charlatan's dice - Red, clear, have seen the lands of el dorado. 19. Metallic runes - A square metal sign with the runes "THE A55 MAN" inscribed on it. Possibly a remnant from the era of Kramerica. 20. a banana - ripeness is up to you 21. random coinage from a far off land? 22. potion of dragon’s breath - not firebreathing, it just a really strong brandy in a hip flask. 23. A hole (Mundane or Magical) see also #13 24. 1D4 Caltrops 25. 1D12 ball bearings ( Marbles, but they work the same) 26. Bacon ( Pocket Bacon is the best snack) 27. Random fluff like lint or fuzz, maybe? 28. A note slipped in there by a rogue 29. A small, smooth stone. 30. a Ring of 1D6 Keys 31. an ornamental spoon from the Spoon of the Month Club collectors series 32. Mound of Clay - A brown mound of clay, about a handful’s worth. It seems to move and squirm when you’re not directly looking at it. It feels warm to the touch, almost like it’s alive. 33. a map which may or may not be accurate 34. A letter - from anyone ranging from their long lost love to their disappointed mother to that one frat bard who lives next door 35. An eyeball - is it looking at you? hopefully made of glass but... 36. An endless rope of knotted handkerchiefs knot literally endless... or is it? 37. A dove/pigeon coo 38. An egg - hope you didn't crack it 39. A nose - who nose where it comes from? ahaha I'll show myself out 40. Arrow head from a broken arrow. 41. a cracked glass marble 42. POCKET TURTLE!!! don’t know why I did all caps (shrug) 43. An egg: Just a common Hen's egg. Once in a blue moon maybe it's a pseudodragon's egg. (I just want to read a story about a party with just a shit ton of eggs from checking pockets) 44. A pentagonal gold chip with no use as currency: "Thanks for the gold kind stranger" 45. Pocket lint 46. A to do list 47. A pocket watch 48. Pebbles 49. Keys to their house 50. A sending stone 51. A piece of sulfur 52. A torn leather bag containing devils blood, wool and a miniature silver sword (spell component pouch) 53. A magical ring DM’s choice 54. A potion of CLW 55. A poisoned dagger 55. A wand of mage hand 56. iron flask - This container howls and moves with devilish motion, even will in the pocket of it's owner. 57. Feather Token - If activated, this magical item creates a bird that will send a message to an ally of the character's choosing. 58. Speaking Stone - This magical device is activated and is currently conveying all conversation to an ally nearby. 59. Baby turtle what’s with all the turtles? 60. 2 pitons 61. A pastry 62. Extra pair of socks 63. A dried frog I like turtles 64. Orcish to Common pocket dictionary 65. Cheese 66. Fancy Key - A ridiculously intricate key, mostly silver with bits of gold and a few gems. It doesn't go to any lock, but it's pretty neat. 67. The Watcher - A glass sphere filled with an orange liquid and an eye floating in the middle. The eye is completely black except for a blue pupil. The glass can't seem to be broken, and the eye seems to frantically point itself in different directions, as if it's watching something far beyond your view or ability to comprehend. 68. Loyal Rook - A copper rook from a chess set. If placed on a tile floor or other surface with a pattern similar to that of a chess board, it will respond to movement commands from the last person to have touched it, but only those a rook could make. 69. An immovable Rod - If you activate it accidentally, it will never leave there until you move. 70. A sponge - wetness is up to you, also, it can have a starfish at its side 71. Drugs Pipeweed - I changed it to something a little more common to D & D. Your call. * 72. Troll's cut fingernail. Can be used as a shiv (dagger stats? ) 73. a vial of perfume 74. Dried meat or fruit 75. Fountain pen or quill 76. A broken time piece 77. Scissors 78. A crushed flower 79. BEANS magic? dried? refried? DM’s choice! 80. A bag of lavender - it will help you relax 81. The MacGuffin these ARE the droids you've been searching for 82. An action figure of the wearer or a straw doll which would be more in fitting with a medieval world, oooh! how about a voodoo doll? 83. Sausages in the breast pocket to make sausage eating no longer require hands - nom nom 84. An entire fish maybe one that’s even bigger than the pocket, because, hey, magic! 85. Lines for a minor part in a stage play 86. a few smooth rocks 87. an assortment of seeds and acorns 88. a 2 feet long leather cord 89. a tiny glass eye, probably a part of an ornament 90. choking powder 91. a scrap of paper with a single word that is too faded to read 92. an entrance to a tiny bag of devouring 93. stale cheese 94. a four leaf clover pressed between two pages torn from a book 95. a single scale from a bronze dragon 96. a lock of yellow hair tied with a bit of silk ribbon 97. a squirrel tail 98. a vial of a foul smelling liquid with a label that says ‘Drink Me’. 99. a unicorn horn painted orange 100. an origami paper boat waterproofed with candle wax You people are relentless! 🙂 FINE! LET’S KEEP IT GOING! /u/Auranykh /u/Sobek6 /u/Morwynn750 /u/RafeHaab /u/Handsoap2104 /u/TheBigFlu /u/AStupidAnnoyingVoice /u/Table_Bang /u/pyromstr /u/Fallstar /u/Paul_4444 /u/erty358 /u/RhetoricalParalysis /u/NemhainFromVoid /u/HagPuppy89 /u/TheEminentCake /u/3hypen-numeral3 /u/Moon_Dew 101. Weighted Marble - a harmless glass marble that activates via a command word. When active it weighs exactly 1 ton. A command word can be used to deactivate it. A pocket is probably not an ideal place to store it, come to think of it. 102. a shrunken head 103. Pocket Bacon??? 104. Pocket Cookie 105. A Rock (*this gets repeated but imma keep putting it on *) 106. A length of leather cord 107. A black feather 108. a pocket dragon just putting ‘pocket’ in front of words doesn’t make it feasible! how about ‘pocket moon’? ‘pocket ocean’? pocket tarrasque? ’ ok -that- would be cool 109. pocket watch that only shows time in a different time zone 110. dog treats 111. An ornate wooden box that when opened has a smaller box but they all seem to be the same size when opened. weird DISCLAIMER: I HAD THIS NEXT ONE ALL SORTED AND NEATLY FORMATTED AS INDIVIDUAL NUMBERS BUT NATURALLY MY PHONE DIED BEFORE I COULD HIT SEND SO I SAID SCREW IT I’M JUST POSTING IT AS ONE LONG ONE NOW 112. A short description of the NPC then the item... The person looked like a real POS; a chip of obsidian worth 10gp (cursed: once sold you have disadvantaged on all Cha based checks) The person has scars and lesions; a silver ring worth 25gp (cursed: whenever you provide healing to a creature, you take that much damage) The person seems weak and out of breath; a Bloodstone (opaque dark gray with red flecks) worth 50gp (cursed: you only gain 1/2 hp from any source and long rest) A sickly, sneezing, feverish dwarf; a small gold bracelet worth 25gp (cursed: disadvantage on checks to save against blinded, deafened or poisoned) A person with old tattered cloths; a gold locket worth 25gp (cursed: every morning at dawn random item is teleported to an unknown pocket dimension returning the item from the day before) A shifty looking man with a rotund build; a fresh bit of white meat that appears to be pork, a copper ring that seems to be too small for his finger worth about 2gp and a red satin ribbon. A female gnome with crazed hair; slack jaw and a 1000 yard stare, 7 buttons, a bent sewing needle, 3 yards of thread and a pinch of black powder. A goblin wearing pants and a tattered shirt; a dead mouse, a rock that kind of looks like a dog, 7cp a dirty disgusting goblin; A few small pieces of wood, made to look like silver coins (same shape, size, markings), among some actual silver pieces. an old man that seems to be asleep; A fishing hook, roll a DC 20 dex save to not have your fingers on it and yell out in pain with your hand still in the pocket. an upbeat and gleeful young man carrying flowers; A one year sober chip a man dressed as if he was heading to work; 3sp, a few bits of jersey and a folded up piece of paper. As you open it there is a child’s drawing of a family with names under each stick figure (Daddy, Billy, Sara, Conrad, Berry, Jake the dog and a flower that says mommy under it) you notice what appears to be tear marks staining the picture. A male dwarf that can’t walk straight and smells of ale; 7sp, peanut shells, 6 beer tokens, a pocket knife 2 men, 1 tall and lanky with very long hair that will not stop talking, the other is a bit shorter and fat with long hair but wearing a trench coat and not saying a word; 15gp, and 2 joints A sought halfling man wearing a backpack loaded with adventuring gear and what sounds like a kitchen; a small selection of travel spices, 2 days rations and a 50’ coil of rope A child approx. 3-5 yrs old; a teddy bear, some snacks and a wooden small wooden horse A red Tiefling woman in tall boot, leather pants a ripped shirt; some pipe tobacco, a butterfly knife (dagger stats), brass knuckles A bro; An exotic perfume, a sachet of quick dissolving powder that induces forgetfulness, a receipt from a local tavern. 6 gold, 1 silver, 1 copper. A male elf in long robes; 34 silver coins in a felt-lined purse that has been silenced so the coins don't clink within it. A male halfling with a sadden look on his face; An envelope with money and a small letter apologizing for the small amount, promising not to spend any on food next time so the kids will have more A female tabaxi with a grungy look; A sealed scroll. Depicts an expertly drawn image of a rude gesture, captioned by the words "Fuck you, buddy. " The text is magical and can be read in any language, so the scroll detects as magic before you open it. A female wood elf in a earth toned linen dress; a very cute handbag that is larger on the inside (handbag of holding, 5” opening can hold up to 4 cubic feet/40 lbs A shifty looking Tibaxi; A key, with no information of what it is used for. Turns out to be a key stolen from a guard that opens the keep. A man with a magnificent beard and a quaff head of hair; a silver flask filled with whiskey, a comb and a small tin of wax A female triton with a seagull nearby; 2 purple sea shells, a bent silver fork, a pearl worth 100gp A young nervous man who is muttering to himself; A golden ring worth 100gp and a note 'today's the day! ' A very well kept man with a small satchel; the satchel you just grabbed contains a metal box with a lid, inside you find a gelatinous cube, seems he used it for "waste disposal" a teenage Elf girl what seems indifferent to the world; 2 amber gems worth 100gp each, a black pearl worth 500gp a male gnome wearing a vest lined with small tinkerers tools; A wooden pipe that never needs to be relit, flask that never empties, and a glass eye that blinks. a man with a huge smile on his face; 23gp, and a coupon book for the local brothel (roll a d12 to determine how many coupons are left) A shifty looking halfling in dark cloths and a hood; a set of masterwork thieves tools (+1) Book: The art of war a male dwarf with a work apron on; A masterwork hammer with a lightly glowing aquamarine gem embedded in the pommel. A male Tiefling with a hat on and scar across the face; A collection of WANTED posters, each with the face of a male Tiefling with a scar across the face. (100gp) Book: Crystal spheres: an advance guide to divination Book: The art of the deal by Donald Drump A tall old man with a long beard a pointed hat and gray robes; Book: Casting for the magically impaired Book: How to Win Friends and Influence People Book: A study in scarlet a man with a smokers cough; a small glass bottle with a pewter stopper, the contents look like swirling smoke - Eversmoking bottle (DMG 168) a woman squinting around looking flummoxed; a pair of spherical with clear crystal lenses - Eyes of minute seeing (DMG 168) a fighter that looks like they have seen many battles; a thin gold chain holds an amulet of two golden hands holding a ruby heart - Periapt of wound closure (DMG 184) an elf that routinely looks over his shoulders; A gold ring with gems in place to look like a brain - Ring of mind shielding (DMG 191) a skipping and carefree halfling; A polished agate stone carved in the shape of a cats head with emerald eyes - Luckstone (DMG 205) a human sound asleep looking like he’s been up all night; a pair of goggles the resemble an owls eyes - Googles of the night (DMG 172) a real sketchy looking dude; fingerless gloves that make your fingers tingle - Gloves of thievery (DMG 172) a wizardly looking woman; a smooth white pearl - Pearl of power (DMG 184) a pirate; this fine black cloth, soft as silk, is folded up to the dimensions of a handkerchief - Portable hole (DMG 185) a very spry and healthy person; a gold chain with a golden medallion with 2 hands lifting the sun - Amulet of health (DMG 150) 113. Suicide note. 114. A map to the next pocket that you'll have to put your hand in. 115. Everything your pocket is actually a bag of holding. 116. Pocket sand! *another special type of item only found in pockets * 117. A scrap of paper torn from a note or letter. 118. Worry stone - A small pebble, polished smooth from being rubbed between the fingers. 119. A blank key - A seemingly normal everyday key, but the teeth are yet to be cut. 120. A pocket of holding - A Bag of Holding has been sewn into the opening of this pocket. Careless pickpockets may fall inside! 121. bacon quite old and possibly spoiled (raw??? ) 122. ** Spellcasting ingredients (eg copper wire, tiny bells, silver dust) 123. Pocket sand! what??? again??? 124. Some kind of slime/mould well which is it, slime or mould? 125. A live mouse 126. Painting of a loved one 127. Child's drawing 128. Unknown currency from far away? 129. Curiously smooth stone the ‘Altoids’ of stones 130. House key 131. Pocket is full of razor blades! you’re a sick little twist, you know that? 132. Their favourite spoon/fork 133. Checklist of names, with no comment to what's being ticked off 134. A curious tetrahedral shape with the numbers 1-20 emblazoned on the sides ( that’s obviously cursed, amirite? ) 135. A small holy book 136. A faded picture with writing on it 137. A message saying "help us" 138. A pixie 139. A rat dead? alive? undead??? 140. A flask of ale 141. A sketch book. Maybe the sketches are landscapes, maybe runic, maybe they're all of some NPC's face? 142. An ocarina 143. Orange peels 144. Wreath of flowers 145. A fan 146. Lump of coal 147. Tiny humanoid skull 148. Grocery list 149. Ransom note 150. Diary 151. A poem 152. Business card of a brothel 153. A button 154. A ribbon 155. A handkerchief 156. Deck of playing cards 157. Deck of tarot cards 158. Box of matches 159. Candle 160. A throwing knife 161. Cuffs 162. Jar of glue 163. Yarn 164. Candy Mushrooms those may have been two separate things, but ‘candy mushrooms’ sounds better so I left them together. Format your posts 😉! 165. Poison 166. antidote I think this was supposed to go with 165 but, meh 166. Love potion 167. Vial of acid 168. A spork 169. Empty vial 170. Case of paints 171. Scarf 172. A compass 173. Pipe 174. bat guano 175. A silver fountain pen that magically refills itself with fine ink each dawn. 176. A 9mm bullet which is odd because guns arent a thing yet. Wait, is that dude wearing modern clothes?? 177. Canoe: Is that a canoe in my pocket, or am I just happy to see you? WOOF!!! 178. **.
CONTINUING The area was mined, with anti-personnel mines, during the last armed conflict not so long ago. They had neither the wherewithal nor manpower to assure that the area was de-mined and safe. Most of the mines, they told us, were emplaced by air. They were ‘tea-bag’ style mines that were dropped wet and once dried out, would turn a person’s foot in an army boot to a mass of jelly. It wasn’t meant to kill, just cripple and maim, therefore taking up more of the counterforce’s resources. But since they had been routed, they didn’t bother to return and clean up their mess. I consulted with Col. Noway and asked him what was being done to alleviate this situation. “Doctor, I’ll be frank”, he replied, “We have a major problem like this in many, many different regions. We simply do not have the manpower to get to each area and de-mine it. It’s a specialized and tricky job. ” I spent a few moments chewing over a thought I had as well as my stump of a cigar. “Colonel”, I said, “You know that I’m a licensed international blaster. What would you say if I told you we could sort this out quickly, even today, with a minimum of danger or fuss? ” “I’m listening, Doctor. ” He replied. “We have access to Primacord, do we not? ” I asked. “Of course. It has many uses. We have general stocks available. ” He told me. “So, what if we lay out surface grids of Primacord, and use that to clear paths through the mined areas? The mines are surficial, and if we could string lengths of Primacord over a sector, detonate it, it would take the mines with it. Quickly, dirtily, and moron-proofed. ” I smiled. “That’s an excellent idea. We could figure out ways to string the Primacord without putting anyone in harm’s way. ” He agreed. “Yes. It would have to go slowly at first, but as more area became de-mined, the more area would be open to allow further setting of the explosive. ” I said. Yes. Let’s test your theory. I will call the armory and have some Primacord airlifted here by noon. ” He said. “Sounds like a plan. I’ll need blasting caps, millisecond delay super-boosters, demolition wire, and a blast initiator; either electrical or old fashioned plunger-type. ” I added. “If I’m going to try something new, I want to go old school on the set-up and eliminate any potentially crossed wires, literally. ” “What you require will be sent. ” He noted and got immediately to a phone. I decided to take a bit of a break in the commissary, have a coffee, work on my notes, and have a smoke until our order arrived. I was at the cynosure of many a prying eye. Evidently, cargo shorts, tall woolen socks, Hawaiian shirt, field boots, and a Stetson were not the usual uniform out in these parts. However, everyone was briefed on who I was and what I was up to, so they all figured I was just something of an anomaly and not a danger. My Greenland coffee interested them even more after we had a chat than my appearance did. I told them that we were going to try and open the east side of the mine and they were quite interested as they knew the lode ran that direction. If I could design it so they could work in that sector, they’d make more money. They were paid not only a day rate, but shared somewhat in the profits of the mine. I was now looked upon as something of a godsend. Just before noon, I heard the thrum of a heavy military chopper. I decided to let the military handle military business and wandered out after a half hour’s wait. What I saw was wondrous. Everything I had asked for, plus a few extra goodies. C-4, dynamite, RDX, PETN, and loads and loads of spools of Primacord. It didn’t take long before we were unspooling the stuff and we were laying out our plans as well as the initial lengths of the tight tubular explosive. It progressed slowly, but I first used lengths of Primacord interspersed with ¼ sticks of the 60% Herculene dynamite they had provided. It gave the Primacord some weight and allowed us to sling it a fair distance in a more or less straight line. Paths were cleared in this manner first north-south, then east-west. Soon enough, we had corridors where we could lay out grids of Primacord on the ground, cross-tied at junction points, and all run back via demolition wire to the spiffy Japanese-made electrical blasting machine. The military didn’t much care for my safety protocols, but I made it abundantly clear to Col. Noway that this was my fucking show and as such, I was the goddamned hookin’ bull, as I’m the motherfuckin’ Pro from Dover. He was forced to agree after the first time we cleared the compass, did the air horn blasts, fired in the hole, and yelled: “hit it! ”; he had to admit that he was impressed. “It seemed somewhat, well, silly at first”, he said, “But usually when we’re working with explosives, we’re under enemy fire. ” “Yeah, I can appreciate that”, I replied, “But essentially, if you don’t follow what I do now, others will be. It is safety first in either case. Without which, dead from enemy fire, or dead from improper explosives protocols is still fucking dead. ” He daren’t argue with logic that ironclad. After the first few shots, we heard several tea-bag mines detonate just a microsecond or two after our initial explosions. The Primacord trick worked a treat, and by the end of the day, we had cleared enough area that an initial assay of the eastern flank of the quarry could be undertaken. I left the remaining military personnel there detailed instructions on how to clear the rest of the area, and with that, we departed back to the capital and our hotel. We immediately de-trucked upon arrival. I asked Jeeves to stow my tack in my room and meet us all in the bar. There were a few toasts Col Noway and Sgt. Saath wanted to try out before our last forays in the country, to the oil and coal fields. We spent a good couple of hours drinking happy hour drinks and eating happy hour pub grub. Tomorrow was an off day for us all as I needed to work up an itinerary, as I’d be visiting the headquarters of the oil and coal companies here in town and then, in a couple of days hence, traveling out to the oil and coal fields. I had amassed some 18 field notebooks full of data; geological, economic, and for my Agency pals, personnel. I made certain the latter notebooks were well concealed and heavily encoded. I was receiving piles of data from the labs in Thailand for the assays I had ordered. I told Jeeves that I’d probably need a new Halliburton case for all my data and gave him a load of local currency to find me one in the next couple of days. I was getting antsy after all this futzing around and wanted to get it all over with and be back on my way home. I loathed shopping anyways, so I figured as long as he wanted to help, he could. I spent the next day whipping up a quick itinerary. Visit the five oil and coal company’s headquarters here in town the next day or so and then, two more days, via helicopter, to the field visits. I’ve had enough driving and realized just how much time was wasted watching the world roll by. I did it to satisfy the military, but I was growing weary of this long, drawn-out project. It would take me at least a month or two to finish my reports once I returned home, and that seemed like such a better prospect of sitting around here; even if it was in 5-star luxury and with Jeeves pottering around every corner. So, even though Col. Noway was a slight bit miffed, a military helicopter was put at my disposal. We used land transport, which is a government Mercedes, the next two days to visit the oil and coal companies. Each one was a drawn-out ordeal. They knew what was riding on my reports so all the stops had been pulled out in order to impress or ingratiate me. Grand introductions, selected branded freebies (hats, pens, T-shirts, company-emblem embossed leather legal pad cases, etc. ), catered lunches, and long, windy, drawn-out geological and economic presentations. I was never so glad to leave that last coal company office than I was on that last day. I was suffering from apple-polishing overload. The next few days were spent as cargo in a Huey helicopter as we whickered hither and yon, pulling not-so-surprise inspections on the various drilling, production, and refining operations that were running in the country at the time. Luckily, offshore was still a glimmer in the Prime Minister’s eye, so all the oil and coalfield foofaraw was onshore. Then, all the visits, data gathering, and field trips were over. I had literally hundreds of pounds of data that was accompanying me on my way home. Some of it was sealed with the chop of the Country of the Republic of Myanmar. It was openable only by me with a special key provided by the country’s security services. In there, unbeknownst to them, were my burgeoning notes and dossiers for my Agency buddies back in the states. The local security forces would have shat themselves if they had only known… So, time was drawing to an end. Through an efficient hotel concierge, I was able to finally secure flights out of Yangon. First to Karachi, via Bangkok, then on to London. A bit of layover, then on to the Windy City. Overnight in the airport Nilton Hotel, I had decided to drive back to our digs in the Brew City. I figured I’d have enough flying and layovers by the time I hit that southern state. I wanted to be in personal control of my destiny for a change. However, before I left, Col. Noway, Sgt. Saath, a couple of oil and coal company VPs, and a few gemstone company higher-up types decided that I was fated to be feted at the hotel before I left. They had gone behind my back and put together a formal, of sorts, dinner in my honor before my departure. And all I wanted to do was check the hell out and slide into my Business Class seat. But, I couldn’t be so un-genteel. I was a scientific representative of the United Nations after all and therefore had a bit of an image to both project and protect. I guess if you want to throw a banquet in my honor, I suppose I can tolerate it. There were the obligatory toasts and humorous stories of our times out in the field. They seemed to take particular delight in remarking on my fashion sense, or more accurately, the lack thereof. There were many, many toasts and as the evening progressed, even Jeeves became a bit less unyielding and was acting most unbutlerish. It was most refreshing as I was able to send a few barbs the other way and gave a gentle razzing to the military in general and Col. Noway and Sgt. Saath in particular. It was all in good humor and no one was offended, at least, I hoped that was the case. The drinks flowed, the cigars were smoked, and there was general conviviality. Nearing the time the hotel was going to kick us out, there was the occasion that I had hoped would not transpire. They various companies, as well as Col. Noway, wanted to present me tokens of their esteem. See, this way it couldn’t be construed as bribery, just warm and genuine appreciation for my help and work over the past six or so weeks. I decided that discretion here was the better part of valor. I accepted each offering and had each give me a signed receipt so that I could maintain my air of impartiality. There were gifts of gemstones, both raw and finished. These ended being donated to a local museum back home. Samples of various coals were also given, which were most appreciated by the university where I used to teach. Lucite-encased oil samples, like the ones so favored by oil companies around the world, were awarded in hopes of further economic development. There were as well very nice core samples and stratigraphic work-ups of various minerals that were so important to the country’s economy. These also found their way to the old university geology department. Of course, I needed to do a little shopping before I left. Since Myanmar is famous for its rubies and sapphires, and since Esme loves rubies and sapphires, I was able to exclude the middle man and haggle my way to some very nice prices on some beautiful loose stones from the various workings. These would head to a mate of mine in Houston and he’d transform them into objets d'art for me for free, as long as he could keep the scraps. He’s done that before with some gemstones I had acquired in Central Asia. My, but emeralds are pricey. Especially after they’re polished and mounted. Had to call the insurance adjuster in after that little trek. Anyways. The night finally drew to a close and since my first flight wasn’t until the later part of the next afternoon, I decided it was time to make certain everything was packed and secured. After a nightcap and late-night cheroot, I obtained the sleep which I sorely required before tackling another halfway-‘round-the-world series of flights. It was a two-hour flight from Yangon to Bangkok, with a short layover which didn’t even require a departure from the plane, then onto Jinnah International Airport in Pakistan, about 8 hours in total. There, I’d have a six-hour layover, then back to western civilization. Eight more air hours to Heathrow, another six-hour layover, and then a scant nonstop nine hours to the Windy City. I’d already reserved a rental car as well as a room at the Nilton Airport in Chitown so I can drive back to Brew City the day after. Looks like the concierge here did a great job and that will be reflected on my departure receipt when I leave tomorrow. So, after one or four quick nightcaps, I found I was too keyed up to sleep. Perhaps a soak in the suite’s Jacuzzi would pummel me with enough bubbles to tire me out and allow me to sleep. No such luck. So, I looked over my belongings for the fourth time, made certain everything was in apple-pie order and sat in the comfy chair while I futzed with the satellite TV. Somewhere between “The wonders of silk” and “How it’s made: sardines”, I dropped off to slumberland. It was one of those not really deeply asleep, but not really awake sort of semi-lucid dream states that just tired me out more than refreshed me. It was now light outside and I had just mere hours left before my departure to Yangon International. Of course, this called for a toast. Hell, Tuesday only comes once a week, after all. I was sipping my drink and enjoying one of the odd little Burmese cheroots I had purchased when the doorbell rang. “Son of a bitch. ” I groused, “Now what? ” I opened the door to find Jeeves there. “Good morning, sir”, he said, in a voice slightly tinged with contriteness. “Howdy, Jeeves. What can I do you for? ” I asked. “I was just ascertaining that you were prepared for your journey later on this afternoon. The car has been made available to take you to the airport. Are you in readiness? ” he asked. “Yep. All are packed and all’s good. ” I replied. “Now I just need to sign my room receipt and haul ass out of here. ” “Oh, very good sir, ” he said, dejectedly. “Oh, Jeeves. There is this”, I said, as I handed him a fat envelope. He brightened immediately. In the envelope was his gratuity, which was a healthy supply of Myanmar Kyat and US dollars, my business card and a personal letter of recommendation for his employers. “I already gave a copy of the letter to your boss”, I told him, “You’ve been a real help here. I’ve made certain your superiors know that fact. I thank you, Jeeves. ” “My name’s Zevya”, he noted with a smile, “Jeeves is a close approximation though. ” We both laughed and I invited him in for a final drink and smoke if he desired. “Oh, no sir, Doctor Rock”, he objected, “I am on duty”. “And your duty is to tend to me and my whims? ” I asked. “But of course. ” He instantly replied. “Then, serve my whim by sharing a farewell snort and smoke with me. ” I insisted. “Well, if you insist…” he smiled. “Oh, I do. ” I smiled back. Ove a couple of farewell drinks, and my cigar, Zevya noted he’d retrieve my hotel bill and bring it to my room. All I’d need to do is to look it over and sign it if there were no issues. Then, all I’d need to do is wait until my ride to the airport showed up. He’d once again taken care of everything. I wouldn’t be departing for another couple of hours and faced with the prospect of being jammed into an airborne aluminum tube for the next umpety-ump hours, I decided that one last soak in the wonderful Jacuzzi would be in order. I asked Jeeves, um, Zevya to just bring my hotel bill up a half hour before I was supposed to leave, as there was a bit of unfinished business that needed my attention. I had a few other envelopes for the room maids, concierge, and bartender. I decided to leave them with Zevya for disbursement after I had departed. I like to remain aloof and somewhat anonymous benefactor when I can. It’s the pixie in me, I guess… Toweling off after a satisfying soak and two or five more quick bracers, I was feeling ready to hit the wild blue yonder. Zevya brought up my thick, really thick, hotel bill and I signed without so much as a quick review. I wasn’t paying and even a cursory examination noted no funny business. I just wanted to get my parking ticket validated so I could go home. A bit later, Zevya appeared at my room with a baggage cart. It was time to leave as my airport ride had arrived. He Tetris-ed all my shiny Halliburton cases onto the groaning baggage cart. I was leaving with more than 100 kilos of samples, data, and reprints full of confidential information. If they all knew the true extent of what I was dragging home they would have had collective heart attacks. I pause outside my suite’s door, turn and do my little “Thanks for being there” routine. I’m not religious, I’m not spiritual, but just in case karma’s a thing, I want to bank on the plus side. If it’s good enough for outcrops, quarries, and mines, it’s good enough for my comfortable retreat during these last few frantic months. Zevya takes the cart down a freight elevator and I take the main elevator to the lobby. I have my personal travel pack, with only my absolute travel necessities. However, I do stop at the hotel’s gift shop and pick up on a few more Burmese cheroots. Who knows when I’ll pass this way again? I say my goodbyes and wish fair winds and high tides to all my hotel friends. The main lobby redcaps, the concierge, the maids, and others who will partake of my departure largesse. It’s nice to not trash the place nor make yourself a pest and have folks upon whom one can call the next time you happen to find yourself in this part of the world. It costs nothing to be civil, pleasant and treat others as humans. I find this is rewarded tenfold, as I eventually will return with Esme in the not too distant future. But, that’s for another story. Zevya shows up and bids me to follow him out the front door and to my ride to the airport. I look around and see no vehicle that would serve that purpose. It’s a sea of micro-Toyotas, Hilux pickups, and odd SE Asian sedans. Zevya snickers as a military 6-wheeled armored personnel carrier (APC) heaves into view. “Colonel Noway made me pledge silence. However, as you can see, your airport transport has arrived. ” He smiled. Col. Noway parks the beast and piles out, as do three uniformed members of the Myanmar Army. He shakes my hand, slaps me heartily on the back, and laughs about the look on my face when he wheeled into the parking lot. My luggage is immediately snagged by the unformed soldiers and stuffed into the APC. “Nothing like a quiet departure” I smile. “Doctor Rock”, Col. Noway exclaims, “Nothing you do is quiet. We all figured this would be an appropriate sendoff for you. ” “Thanks much, Colonel. It is much appreciated. ” I said, “Can I drive? ” “No. ” he immediately snaps back, chuckling. “I’ll drive. You just look out the periscope at the passing scenery. ” I shake hands with Zevya for the last time and tell him that if he’s ever in Baja Canada, to look me up. He assures me he will. So, we take off, sirens a-blare, to the airport. We arrive at the airport and eschewing arrivals, drive directly out onto the tarmac where my flight is waiting. There are Myanmar’s officials there to stamp my passport and give a cursory glance to my Halliburton luggage as it disappears, after being tagged, into the belly of the aircraft. I could grow used to this type of treatment. I shake hands heartily with Col Noway. I present him a bottle of best scotch from the hotel bar. He once mentioned he really appreciated such liquor, but even he didn’t have the proper connections to source it. It was a bit on the pricey side, but when I’m saluting someone who’s taken such good care of me in a place where things could have rapidly gone south; well, damn the price and full steam ahead. After all the departural foofaraw, I’m slowly wandering up the stairs to Business Class. I am greeted by a lithe flight attendant who didn’t even ask for my boarding pass. She was already briefed on my arrival and had me in my seat with a pre-flight cocktail as she insisted on overhead binning my fight kit. The flight wasn’t set to depart for another hour or so. We had a fine conversation before the rest of the hoi-polloi showed up and demanded such things as seats and blankets. It was two hours in the air to Bangkok, and we made it in 75 minutes. Guess it was a good tailwind. We didn’t even have to or were allowed to, depart the place as we were simply re-fueling, re-provisioning, and taking on a few more passengers. I got to sit in my seat, watch my glass never empty more than half before it was refilled and work on the daily Pravda crossword. Damn those things are a pain… Wheels up, it was a very smooth flight. Excellent food and very healthy drinks. I dropped off for a snooze somewhere over the Indian subcontinent. I didn’t stir until I heard the Boeing’s landing gear clomp down and lock in place as we began our landing in Pakistan. I had six hours to layover in the airport in Karachi. I’d rather have six hours in a dentist’s chair, I loathe the country that much. The entire place is no smoking, and I’d have to actually leave through passport control and customs if I wanted to step outside for a smoke. There are no bars, few restaurants, and less of interest here, particularly for an unrepentant American. I kept a low profile and scooted to the airlines Business Class lounge and made provisions for a cart to show up just before my flight to London departed. I really wanted nothing to do with this airport other than becoming invisible until I could be wheels up again. Luckily, the airline Business Class lounge didn’t cotton to all that no smoking, no drinking guff. I was flying the flagship of the great country of Great Britain and if I couldn’t have a gin and tonic, or vodka and bitter lemon, and a smoke here, then all was truly lost. It wasn’t and I could. I made certain I didn’t leave this sanctum sanctorum until the last call for my flight to London. My ride arrived and I was whisked to my gate, to the Business Class line, where I showed my boarding pass and was down the jetway before anyone was the wiser. I really didn’t need to be that furtive, but after that incident some years ago in Baluchistan, I wished to take no chances. I was relieved to be both wheels and bottoms up as we banked north away from the airport. Next time, hell, every next time, I’m avoiding this part of the world if I can. The flight was absolutely uneventful as most BA flights are, especially back to their home turf. We landed without incident and soon I was in the BA Business Class lounge again, waiting the eight hours until my flight was called to the Windy City. I partook of the sleeping rooms they had available at the airport lounge. I left a notice to be awakened after six hours so I could shower and become slightly less Neanderthal for my last flight homeward. Finally, on my way back to the states, I pull out some of my latest field notebooks and make some concluding notes regarding my departure from Myanmar and escapades on my way west. It dawned on me that it had been almost two months since I’d seen my family, but with all the travel of late, it’d best take another day as I had considered just getting a rental and pushing homeward. However, cooler heads prevailed. All I’d need after 26, 000 miles of travel is to wreck in FIB-land when some asshole doesn’t or can’t operate his fucking directional. I’d spend the night in the hotel, to attack the highways well rested and not as draggled as I was now feeling. I’ll pick up my rental before I head to the hotel; I’ll have my baggage sent from the airport directly to the hotel. That’ll make matters easier. We land and I go through all the usual nonsense of a returning expatriate after months overseas in an odd and mostly unknown foreign land. I had a private confab with the customs guys after the airport security was curious over my shiny, locked, and foreign emblem-emblazoned Halliburton cases. I refused to open them, claiming they were part of a Diplomatic Pouch and produced my Diplomatic Passport to back up my assertions. “This is a Russian Diplomatic Passport”, they noted. “Yes, it is”, I replied, “It goes nicely with my true-blue American citizen passport, don’t you think? ” This caused much consternation and instead of calling the Russian Embassy, I just dropped a couple of names of some of my Agency buddies who would be more than happy to speak with them, probably using nothing other than four-letter words. So, I was now standing in the arrivals area, looking for a likely porter. Finding one that seemed to have selected me instead of one of the other thronging masses, I part with $100 and he guarantees me my luggage will beat me to the hotel. I pocket the receipt and say that there’s an extra $20 in it if he’ll wait until I arrive. I have no idea how long it’ll take me to pick up my rental car. “Yes, sir, Doctor. ” He says. “Wait. What? ” I say to an empty space where he was only just a moment ago standing. “What the fuck…? ”, I mutter as I board the airport transport to the rental agency. At the car rental place, my order is already there and ready for my pick up. I had ostensibly requested a full-size sedan, but instead, I was offered, at the same price, an IROC Camaro Z-28 convertible. I was assured I’d be able to fit all my luggage in its ample trunk. “But I never said how much luggage I had…” I mused, carrying only my all-important flight bag. The Camaro was an incredible piece of 5-speed, two-toned V-8 powered Detroit iron. I was miserably happy to be driving such a wonderful example of the US automotive industry. I arrived at the airport Nilton and parked. My room was ready and was close to the lobby, but well enough back as to be in the ‘quieter’ section of the hotel. My baggage was already in my suite, as was the porter I last saw pulling a disappearing act at the airport International Arrivals terminal. “I do believe you owe me $20” he smiled. “That’s quite correct. ” As I slide him $40. “No worries, I’m on expenses. I always reward extra for such a job well done. ” “Thank you, sir. ” He says, pocketing the tip. He points out that since I’m staying at the suite once again, I qualify for free drinks and dinner in the hotel restaurant. Valid only between the hours of 1700 and 1900 hours. “Free food and booze? ” I say. I thank my friend and tell him to get lost as I need a shower, a smoke, and dinner, and it’s already 1600 hours. “No problem, Doctor Rock. Swarrtotmaal. ” he smiles upon his departure. “How the fuck…? ” Ach! Never mind. I whip up a mini-bar shower drink, make certain the shades are drawn, get naked, and hit the welcoming shower. I call Esme first, but all I get is the answering machine. She’s out on a walk or something. I’ll try again later. An hour or so and couple-four cocktails later, I’m sitting alone in a booth waiting on my blue porterhouse steak with garlicky mushrooms, steak fries, and next cold drink. The drink arrives and as I’m about to take a sip, I hear some familiar voices. “Agent Rack! Agent Ruin! Why am I not surprised to see you here? ” I say to my spooky agency buddies. “Please, have a seat and join me in a drink and dinner. ” “Why thank you, Doctor. We shall” they reply in one voice. Ordering finished, we sit and have the usual “Well, now; what’s all this then” pre-de-briefing chat. “I see you made it through Karachi undamaged”, Agent Ruin notes. “Yeah, I laid low. Muted Hawaiian shirt and actually long chinos for a change. I ran, with honor, to the business class lounge and stayed there. ” I noted. “Good. Sorry about that, but it was the quickest way back for you. ” Agent Rack added. “Thanks a gob. Much appreciated. So, the room porter and car rental was your handiwork as well? ” I asked. “We can neither confirm nor deny…” Agent Ruin smiles. “You just did. Damn it, you guys are going to make me paranoid if you don’t stop this shit. ” I grumbled, as my steak arrived, all blue, garlicky, and very juicy. “You’re not paranoid if someone’s actually out to get you” Agent Rack notes, looking at my steak. “Don’t you think they should kill it first before they serve it? ” “Lightweights. I heard you. ‘Medium and medium well’. What a travesty for a cow to have died for such dishonor. ” I chuckle. “At least we don’t have to chase our steaks around the plate…” Agent Ruin adds. General chuckling, and good-natured bullshit ensues. Debriefing, I conclude, can wait until after we eat. After the dinner dishes are collected, I fire up a Cuban cigar as Agents Rack and Ruin look on in horror. I offer them some Burmese cheroots, and they gladly accept, markedly less panicked. Over a few further drinks, we go over my last couple of month’s activities. They are not taking notes so I know they’re wired. I am become a bit more circumspect, but when Agent Ruin launches into another in his endless litany of dirty jokes, I just smile and order another stiff round of drinks. My measures of counter-espionage. No non-ethanol fueled organism can hope to keep up with one stoked on prime beef and import vodka. I find it hilarious that they still try. A few additional rounds later, the Agents decide it’s already too late to return to base, so they’ll be staying the night at the hotel. “In separate rooms, I hope”, I chide them. I’ll not repeat their rejoinder here, as it includes some frankly anatomical impossibilities. We part friends and I return to my room. I call Esme and let her know of the last few hours festivities and she tells me to just take it easy on the way home. Everything’s in order and can wait for a few more safe hours until I re-arrive. I sign off pledging my eternal love and my assurance I’ll take it easy. I didn’t mention the Camaro, I didn’t want her to worry unnecessarily. I partake of a nightcap, after drawing the shades and getting comfortable, and one quick cheroot. I futz with the television to see if there’s anything of any great importance that’s transpired in my absence. Other than the usual local sporting collectives battling for last place, there’s little of interest. I did not there was a small news spot regarding the freshly revitalized economies of several Southeast Asian countries. I waited until after an execrable spate of commercials to see if there was anything further, but it just returned to some local fluff and guff about the weather. The next morning, freshly revitalized, I pay off the doorman for his help in loading my luggage in the Camaro. Rack and Ruin were right, there was enough room for all my gear. Remind me to be nice to them one time in the future. Heading north at a rapid rate, I have the top down and am enjoying the free feeling of the open road, even if it’s in that state to the south. Soon, I console myself, I’ll be back in Baja Canada and that much closer to home. Indiscretion gets the better of me as I notice I’m now doing triple digits according to the Camaro’s speedometer. I immediately let off the gas, but it‘s too late. A plain brown sedan behind me flashes its lights and hit a couple of blats on the siren. Thundering fuckbuckets! Nicked! I deserve it. Entirely my fault. I prepare to pull over and take my medicine. As I head for the shoulder, the car behind me pulls up alongside, and the two occupants point, wave, and laugh. I realize its Agents Rack and Ruin as they firewall their company sedan and leave me behind in the dust. Forget what I said previously about being nice to them in the future… I am a bit more cautious and only bend and bruise, not break, the speed limit for the rest of the trip home. I zoom over the state line and a palpable wave of relief washes over me. Only a half-hour more and I’ll finally be home. I wheel to a stop at our modest dwelling. I’m hardly out of the car when I’m steamrolled by a 130-kilo mastiff; Khris and Esme following quickly behind. We drag in all my luggage ad Esme gives me the stink-eye over the Camaro. I try to explain that it wasn’t my fault, but Rack and Run’s machinations that I have this vehicle. “I don’t care. Just as long as your home safe. ” Esme says and proceeds to hug the stuffing out of me. Once we’re all inside, I produce the traveling gifts I’ve collected from my wanderings around the globe. For Khris, a beshik toi, a handmade native Burmese baby doll, and cradle. It’s intricately carved and detailed and Khris loves it. For Lady McBeast, some rawhide bones I found at a shop in Irrawaddy. She sets forth to destroy them immediately. For the cat, nothing. It’s an ornery little beast and I tend to ignore it. For Esme, a Burmese ruby ring and one with a Myanmar star sapphire. I also produce a pair of earrings made from the finest, greenest Burmese jade. She’s over the moon, as she loves jewelry and the more unique, the better. There is, however, a gift Esme has for me. Totally unexpected, but it’s worth more than everything I’ve brought or have done in the past two months. Seems I’m going to be a father again. Yes, Esme’s pregnant and has been going to the doctor regularly. All earmarks thus far indicate that there are absolutely no problems with the pregnancy and it’s all systems go. It was the most unexpected and best gift I’ve received in a very long time, indeed.
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